Hollywood Update

 

I'm lowering my newsworthy article standards today because there's really nothing going on. Now I know how CNN and Fox News feel.

Today I'm glad to report on the shocking news that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are allegedly, maybe, possibly dating. I don't really care about this but evidently there are people that do. I never was a loyal viewer of Dawson's Creek but I know Katie Holmes from the movies Go and Disturbing Behavior which, in my opinion, weren't that bad.

Tom Cruise aka "Cole Trickle" is a Hollywood legend, not only for his acting but for his vocal Scientology beliefs. That is something that Tommy might want to lay out on the table before this flickering flame turns into a raging inferno.

But it probably won't.

One thing head-scratchingly strange about this two-headed Hollywood power couple is that they both have movies coming out in the next couple months. Holmes is coming out with "Batman Begins" on June 15th and Cruise's "War of the Worlds" debuts June 29th. Coincidence? I don't think so. Don't they know these shameless publicity relationships never last? (sniff) You heard it here first. Even if I am right it's kind of like winning a dart contest at a school for the blind.

Oh well, I could've written about the doctored Brad and Angelina photo...There's always tomorrow.
links
Funny Bush cartoon video (Flash)
Huh. (Goes back to eating Big Grab of Doritos)
Jacko: Vindication?

There are some weird people out there

Yes, there are.
"Police Hunt Down Alleged Masturbator"
For most people I know, seeing something like this would really freak them out. For me, it would make my night. Maybe I can say that because I've never witnessed anything like it. But I bet if I did, I'd just point and laugh. Then call the cops. What I find funny about public exposure, or public self-love, is that it makes no sense. The perpetrator thinks bystanders want to see 'the show' when in fact most people would run or call the cops. What does the stroker expect people to do? Sit, eat popcorn and watch? Write a critique? Take a picture of a loved one next to it like some museum exhibit? If they do this on any regular day, what do they do on really special days like their birthday, take a bath in a mall fountain? When they go to court, does showing up buck naked ever run through their heads? There are so many questions I'd like to ask one of these folks. On a phone behind plexiglass, that is.

When I was in college, there was a guy who would drive his car around campus until he found a young co-ed (or co-eds) so he could roll down his window and ask for directions to the freeway. With no pants on. This story would run in the campus paper every couple of months and it always got a small chuckle out of me. I think eventually he got caught and is in jail probably showing something to someone as we speak. That guy definitely put some thought into his public nudity. You can't get very far running with your pants around your ankles I guess.

links
Love the name: pooches do reflect their owners sometimes
96 times he got away with it?

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Draft Day 2005!

Draft day is tomorrow and I would like to put in my two cents about my favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings. This draft day should be exciting for Minnesota-- I'm not talking about drafting Demetrius Underwood and having him slit his throat and go M.I.A. And I'm not talking about having a 7th pick and letting the clock expire for TWO entire selections. I'm talking about actually having two legitimite first-round picks.

Historically, the Vikings are pretty good at the draft, and they should do well if they don't trade all of their picks away beforehand. The last few first-rounders OT Bryant McKinnie ('02), DT Kevin Williams ('03) and DE Keneche Udeze ('04) have turned out to be stellar picks.

Around every draft day the same phrase mumbled out of every Vikings fans' mouth: "draft defense, I guess". Not so this year. The Vikings have smartened up and realized that if they are going to trade Randy Moss, then they have to build a defense that can support a weakened offense. With the signings of DT Pat Williams (Buffalo), LB Sam Cowart (NY Jets), S Darren Sharper (Green Bay), CB Fred Smoot (Redskins) and the trade for LB Napoleon Harris (Raiders) plus last year's signing of Antoine Winfield, the defensive side of the ball should be pretty good.

This year the Vikings must draft offense first. No need to grab a RB as we have 3, arguably 4, RB's that could be starters in some other systems. We've established that a LB's/CB's and safties are well-covered. I've heard rumors of a trade involving both picks (#7 and #18) for the number two pick. This idea is both ridiculous and stupid. If Minnesota does trade up, then they will have a shot at Braylon Edwards, the stud WR out of Michigan. By staying at seven the Vikings will most likely get Mike Williams WR, USC (who is as good as Edwards, minus the hype) and keep the other pick. At #18 the Vikes should take defense, specifically a DE, where there is a need for depth.

P.S. Happy Earth Day. Go hug a tree.

My picks:
#7-Mike Williams WR, USC
#18- Erasmus James DE, Wisconsin
#48-Mike Nugent K, Ohio State
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links
Fingered: Wendy's 'chili lady' arrested
'Office Space' cast reunited after 6 years
Jacko: Da me la Vase-lina

Tony Tony Tony... (part I)

The only person in England better looking than Camilla Parker Bowles has an election coming up... Yes, I'm talking about the man, the teeth, Tony Blair.
On April 5th, Tony Blair called for elections to be held on May 5th (Brits can call elections whenever they want with enough warning time). Tony Blair has had a tough few years since supporting the U.S. coalition in Iraq despite loud public outcries. It was announced yesterday the finance minister of Blair's Labour party, Gordon Brown, will be invited for another term. This is a major development since Brown did not support the Iraq invasion in 2003. He has broad public support (something Blair lacks) and has delivered robust economic growth throughout the past eight years.

This reminds me a lot of the U.S. elections last year, where there wasn't overwhelming support for George Bush himself but the talent he amassed in his cabinet and staff was impressive. On the other hand, the support for the Conservative (Democratic) party isn't exactly ginormous either. The platform of the Conservative party headed by Michael Howard, is based on cracking down on illegal immigrants and those seeking asylum. Howard says that immigration has tripled under Tony Blair and that it is damaging communities and increasing insecurity among Britons.
There's more than just this going on in this election but I will take it in pieces as it is a huge story and can't be completed in just one post.
links
After these voicemails, Pat O'Brien went into rehab (graphic language)
It's 4-20 today mannn...
Spit on Jane Fonda, you get arrested

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Designer Imposters

This week, Paris Hilton was the latest celebrity to unveil a new line of perfume. It is called "Paris Hilton Sheer" and with a really catchy name like Sheer it should be literally flying off the shelves. "Sheer" is the latest celebrity perfume to come out. Celine Dion was spritzing "Belong" last month, Britney Spears was "Curious", "Glow" by Jennifer Lopez was all the rage amongst the mamis down here. Who gets to choose these perfume names and why? It seems like they are such arbitrary names. Why isn't there a perfume like "Watermelon Candy" or "Buttered Muffin"? I think it would sell better than "Curious"..

I have an idea. They should make a cologne called "Stripper" so guys have an excuse when they come home from a long night out and are accused with infidelity. I can see the commercial already: "No honey, I smell like a stripper because it IS Stripper..."
links
Pope Watch
Happy people have better hearts, study says
Monkey is newest member to SWAT team

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links
Boston Marathon is today. Check the leaderboard
Type in a word and find out the origin

Spinning wheels

Picked up my new shoes yesterday: Asics GT-2100's. The salesman was trying to push a pair of Kayanos on me. A very good shoe, the Kayanos are also the most expensive ($135) they make. I tried the 2100's on and they fit really well. Price isn't a real deterrent for me but the GT's honestly felt better. It turns out I am a slight over-pronator, according to them. I don't really put much faith in that stuff. I run how I run. There's not much I can do to change that at this point.
I decided I would give this pair a trial by fire. Went out on a nine mile run yesterday and this morning I felt great. Great enough to go out again and run another ten miles today--even after going out last night. I haven't had back to back days like this for a while. It feels good but my body sure is tired. I've also been going to the bathroom enough to power my own hydroelectric dam. I like these Asics so far but I've found the first few runs on a new pair don't always tell the real story. We will see.
links
More info on the GT-2100
I might chop off my own finger for $100,000
70 foot wave strikes cruise ship

the weekend...

Ok, so I just fell asleep at work. It's not the first time that has happened but it always a funny feeling to wake up and wonder if you got caught. Luckily for me, my phone rang and startled me awake.
So, one thing that I have to do this weekend is to get a new pair of running shoes. For the last six years I have ran in the New Balance 99x series (they change the last digit every few years). I loved the shoe so much that for years I didn't even care what else was out there. After talking to many knowledgeable people lately, I think I am going to buy a pair of Asics gels. I am not sure on the model or type though. I went to Runnersworld.com to see what they had to say which turned out to be a collection of soliloquies about pronating and over-pronating. I've been running recreationally and competitively since my track days in junior high and I haven't heard of pronating until today. So I guess things in the shoe world must have changed in the last few years. If anyone knows about any good brands or has any advice please enlighten me.
And have a great weekend!
links
It rubs the lotion on its skin!
List of words that should be banished in 2005
I catch myself drinking a few sometimes

How do you spell repressed?

A 25 year old teacher at a Manhattan school is the latest teacher to be caught and fired for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with one of her 18 year old students. The guidance counselor at the same school is also under investigation of sex with a teenage boy. This story is one of a long list of teacher-underage student scandals to come out in the past year. My question is: What the f&#%?!
When I was in school, we never had twenty-something teachers. They were all cranky 50 year old hags with bad breath and receding hairlines. Today, any 15 year old can get lucky in homeroom. In most of these stories it doesn't just end with the sexual relationship. Some of the teachers are smoking pot or crystal meth with the students in addition to the sex romps. Even more, there are instances of sexual encounters involving teachers and one or more students; even one with a student and his father doing the teacher at the same time.
I am not one to say what someone does in their own privacy is right or wrong but come on, what does any 27 year-old woman get out of having sex with a 12 year old? Maybe it is that "Desperate Housewives" phenomenon..(why couldn't that show have been on in my adolescence?) Let's be honest, a t.v. show does not provoke someone to go out and sleep with a pre-teen. That is something indicative of a much more serious problem.
I bet they are having a lot more fun in detention today than back when I was there, that's for sure.
links:
Husband selling cheating wife's stuff on Ebay
Man finally passes written driver's test on 272nd try

Thought I'd heard it all...

Jacko Watch: The Michael Jackson trial has been dragging on for a couple of weeks now and I find some of the things that are coming out about his lifestyle pretty interesting. In a "that's really weird" interesting way. In the newest story, the accuser's mother accused Jackson of licking her son's head during a plane flight to his Neverland Ranch. This week, the accuser's mother will be crossexamined by the prosecution who will try and discredit her previous testimony.
In my opinion MJ is certainly a strange individual. He is guilty of having an unhealthy emotional connection to children, especially for someone his age. I think he stopped short of physically molesting children though, even in the confines of his own home. He probably did serve children wine, or "Jesus Juice" as he called it, to gain favor with them and seem cool just like any other stupid adolescent would. Deep down I think he knows right from wrong and that to molest any child would be a bad thing. However, he is a very peculiar individual with eccentric tastes and probably shouldn't be around kids. I'm sure this won't be my last Jacko article because there will be another sideshow coming up.

Jackson trial newswire
links:
Interesting article about hydration and running
Sofia Vergara picture gallery

Taxes Accepted!

I filed my taxes with TurboTax software on Monday night and heard back today that both the federal and state were accepted. They were kind of a pain to do this year with the mid-year move from Minnesota to Florida but I guess I did it right. Now the only thing I have to figure out is what I'm going to do with my tax return money...

Are cows and chickens out for revenge?

I just read another article about the bird flu going on in Asia. This is about the tenth article I've read in the past month. A young girl died from it last week. Although the numbers aren't exactly scary enough to call it a major world crisis, the existence of a bird flu is not good for anyone. A contraction of this disease in a small village and spread out would cause major social problems and eventually economic problems for the entire world. The WHO says that this strain of flu has the potential to cause a worldwide pandemic. I think about all the chicken we as Americans consume and it is certainly plausible for a virus such as this to weasel its way into America (not to mention the rest of the world) fairly easily.

So my question is this: Are the world's chickens out to get us for eating their ancestors? Since most people eat chicken, maybe this is the beginning of payback. I don't know for sure, but I am skeptical.

With all this said, I wouldn't throw your half-gobbled McNugget in the trash (bad one). It is just something that no one in the mainstream is really paying much attention at the moment. This bird flu problem is just flying under the radar, so to speak. :)

Well, if there is a chicken blockade, watch out because there will be some very angry finger lickers. And one pissed off Colonel.

The Pope (El Papa)

So the old guys with the long robes and big hats are going to elect a new pope in the coming days or weeks. Does anyone know how long this conclave process takes? If I were flown to Italy, put up in a nice resort and given good food, I wouldn't want to leave either. It's probably like Club Med for these guys. Then once they are finished, they announce their decision by burning some substance that gives off white smoke. I doubt it's just the "ballots" they're burning up in there..Call me a conspiracy theorist but God just might have some powerful grow lights underneath St. Peter's Square..
If I were to talk just about myself, no one would probably read this. I took a look at some blogs last night and it was mostly pointless rambling about someone's depression or their suicidal friend..yikes. So I will say this now, I will talk about happenings in my life as soon as it gets interesting. Deal?
links:
How to win Miss USA 2005: "I fell in love with them and it snowballed"
I thought he would have faded into Bolivia..but you need money to do that

Vegas Baby Vegas

Ahh...I'm glad I'm home. I went to Las Vegas last weekend with some friends from high school. I took advantage of the free drinks at the casinos and the casinos took advantage of my drunkeness. There's nothing like $20 beers... I would like to thank the salty bartender at the sportsbook of the Mandalay Bay for her putting up with my barrage of (probably unappreciated) sarcasm and giving it right back. I wouldn't even know how to explain the things that come out of my mouth at 10:00 a.m. after six or seven screwdrivers. There was a long enough break in my alcoholic haze for me to make it to the pool at Mandalay Bay. Though my most fun time in the L.V. was definitely at Gallagher's, a steak house at New York-New York. The food was great and we had about two gallons of wine with dinner which added to the fun. I had a great time and I am happy I made it home in one piece and with a few bucks in my pocket. If you are interested in visiting Vegas, see some of these links:

Casino Reviews
Blackjack Strategy

Giddy up! The journey has begun...

Journey? Where? You mean the band?
Okay, so i'm speaking metaphorically. And badly at that. Anyways I've been wanting to start a blog for a long time but never really had the comittment nor the motivation to do it. In short, my reason for beginning this is to share my ideas and perspectives and maybe, possibly, start some kind of discussion on various topics (e.g. current events, politics, culture and many others). I will try to post as many links to interesting and/or funny stories as possible along the way. So here goes nothing!