Truisms

I was looking at a page of some truisms this afternoon. A truism is a statement of obvious truth. Some of these are pretty funny:

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Half the people you know are below average.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

That's all I will share with you because reading too many of these gets real tiresome. Most of these are suprisingly accurate. I like the one about swearing and driving. Truisms remind me of "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey", the skit that they used to do on Saturday Night Live. Sometimes I'll think up some truisms without even trying-then I forget them. If I remember any I will post them up. TGIF baby!

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